Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
