I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
