well most of my day revolves around power hour
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
