i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
its liver damage thursday
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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