There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
