she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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