glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
