I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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