with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
