ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
