somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
