If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize