i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
