yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
