he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Randomize