Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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