was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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