Fuck appropriateness.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
