I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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