Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
