normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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