member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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