is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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