dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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