I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Less talking, more tequila
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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