so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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