Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
