Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
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