Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
