Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude i'm inner monologue high
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
