Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
