6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
