I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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