He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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