Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
