dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
