Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize