lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
