I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize