watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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