Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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