everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
