I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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