Swine flu. Run for my life!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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