My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
