just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
