# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
