Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
