break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
