he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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