The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
