you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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