My hand turned me down
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
