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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
