Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
