Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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