I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
