your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just wanna soil my oats bro
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think your dad took our porno
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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