I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
