Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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