Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
