my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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